Reminiscing...

Working away, listening to music that I remembered when I was a lot younger. Music that wasn't all that popular even when it was "new". Oh well, my office is my sanctuary and I'll listen to what I want. John Cougar, Bryan Adams, even a little bit of Skid Row. The only problem is actually focusing on the work.
I'm sure there is some scientific explanation for it, but it doesn't really matter, does it? Hearing old songs, music, even some of the lyrics...it just takes you back and conjures up memories that you have long since forgotten. But they come flooding back as if it was only yesterday. Old girlfriends, best buddies, the whole haze of high school - but I like it. I often wish there was some secret way to go back in time and relive those days, not because there's necessarily anything wrong with life in today's world...but wouldn't it be fun to go back and do it all over again? I guess I was fortunate enough to have a stretch of teen years that were worth the time spent.
Living in the past? No, just thankful for those memories! It's not all that often I see people I used to know from the "good ol' days", and even I did, would I recognize them? I know that I've changed over the years. Was a time when I was "cool"...at least that's my recollection - but doesn't everyone think they are or were cool? HA!
Fleetwood Mac is belting out a tune while I write this..."Tell me lies"...anyone out there actually remember that tune? Anyone out there even remember Fleetwood Mac? Probably no one under 30 years old! I dunno...maybe I'm selling people short, good music is good music, and classics are timeless. It all boils down to whether or not the music I remember was ever "classic". The song has just ended, now Skid Row is doing their thing. Ironically, the song playing is "I Remember You". Appropriate for this blog's theme? It wasn't planned - honest!
An exercise I'm supposed to be doing is writing first thing in the morning for 20 to 30 minutes - without actually thinking about what is being written...just write. Well, that's not going so well. The first thing I do when I get up and moving is check my email (business) and spend at least that amount of time replying to various inquires. Does that count as 30 minutes of writing? Maybe...but I do actually "think" about what I'm writing. If nothing else...my typing skills are being honed on a daily basis. Now with this blog, I'm (trying) to write for a few minutes each night before I shut everything down for a few hours sleep. I guess my schedule is quite *&%#ed up compared to most people's...but I don't mind too much. Usually I get a lot of work done during the wee hours. The phone isn't ringing, no one to interrupt me, just quiet, peaceful work time. Tonight, with the music playing (which isn't a usual thing), the work is suffering, at least the quantity of work I'm getting done. Oh well...sometimes you just gotta relax any way you can, and I can't imagine a better way for me to de-stress than taking a musical jaunt down memory lane. It really staggers me, but the reminiscing...aahhh! That's where I feel like a god and a devil all at the same time! Time well spent...at least for tonight!

Consistently inconsistent...

Are you supposed to make up supposedly clever titles for these blog entries? Obviously not my forte!
I'm cooked for the night. It's now 1:20am early Thursday morning, and I'm just wrapping up my work for the night. Not because I want to and certainly not because I can afford the down-time...but when your eyes and hands just refuse to work and coordinate with each other, it's time to call it a day.
Let's chat about the writing course I'm participating in. The latest excursion was to the local mall to observe people without their knowledge, and from our inferences and observations, we were to develop a "back-story" of that person's life, objectives, motives, etc. "Back-story"? Well I guess that went straight over my head. While using the template for character development, I created a story about the woman I was watching, and incorporated those ideas into the notes about her character...I guess I killed two birds with one stone without actually trying. Or maybe I didn't...it's entirely possible that I missed the whole point of the exercise. Not much more I can do except wait until the next meeting to see how to develop the story. Flash Fiction, I think.
Oh, by the way, logical thoughts at this hour are out the window...at least I'm trying to find the time to maintain this blog. This is the third post...about two more than I expected!
Writing style. My voice. That's what I'm searching for. I've written a few things in the past, and keep a few miscellaneous pages floating around, but what I really need is to develop a style or voice that is enthralling to the reader. Those that have read things I've written say that the stories are good, solid stories. There's just a few pieces of the puzzle missing, and I believe one of them is the absence of a unique voice, or style.
I must admit that even when I re-read my own work, it sometimes reads with a different "feel" than I thought it did when I wrote it...almost "mechanical", if that makes any sense.
Even writing here on this page...the words are not flowing as I had intended. I suspect it's because I feel as though I'm writing an entry in a diary, which is supposed to be private, yet I'm aware that virtually anyone could stumble across these thoughts. It's the holding back, the hesitation, that makes these words "feel" awkward. That's the excuse I'm going to stick with anyway!
Almost 2am now, and tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Ever wonder what exactly you're working for when there's almost nothing else in your life except the work? This is only the beginning of February, and it's only going to get busier as spring arrives. Where is the motivation level I used to have? I used to follow the advice that if you're not having fun at your job anymore, it's time for a change. Now I wonder if that advice is sound, or a cliche that an irresponsible person would use as justification to quit a job they just didn't want. Why am I rambling, you ask? Just because I'm struggling to keep my eyes open - that's why! I'm out of here for tonight!

Suffering defeat...

Well, I guess if I have this blog, I should use it for something. Tonight, I feel as though I'm at the bottom of the world and gravity just quit. As an architect, I was nominated for an award, the same award that I have won for the last two years. I am too infuriated at this time to go into the details of the staggering denial of the award, but be assured that it is without the taste of sour grapes that I feel slighted by the very Association that I pay dearly to be a member of. This is just one more kick in the stomach from "the Association", and it is the last time they will embarrass me. Let me just summarize by suggesting that it is hard for someone to win a hockey game when the referees change the rules in the middle of the game, but don't tell the visiting team! GGGGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
Writing this here isn't helping my mood, it's getting late, and believe it or not, I am just about to start working again...if I can concentrate enough. Maybe I'll come back here soon, I don't know. I still feel strange about writing a 'blog' to no one in particular. Until next time...?

A whole new world...

I have never had a blog before, and honestly, I never considered the need to maintain one, yet here I am! Recently, I began a fiction writing course, and during the first session, it was suggested that each participant have either a website or a blog. The idea of creating a website is perplexing to me, although I'm sure most six year olds could do it. I don't spend much time "playing" on a computer, but rather, I work on my computer for twelve - fourteen hours a day. Therefore, I opted for the less foreign of the two ideas and created this blog. (Although I'm still not sure what to do with it!) Is a blog an online "diary" or journal? If so, I prefer my antiquated pen and notebook. Is a blog a space for others to leave messages and/or comment on my private thoughts? If so, posting them in a blog seems to nullify the aspect of privacy. At any rate, I am here now, and who knows...perhaps I'll get hooked on this.
I am an aspiring writer, I guess that's what you'd call me, and I have written one novel, have two others in the planning stages, as well as several short stories. I should clarify that I have no delusions of grandeur, and at this time, only hope to someday be published. In my opinion, that is when a writer wriggles their way out of their cocoon, and can legitimately consider themselves an author. That is my goal.
Rather than write everything that is swirling around in my brain at this moment, I'll sign off and get back to the work that pays the bills. Until next time?